Losing Friends & Finding Peace?

Hi Friend…how are we doing this week?

I wanted to touch on a subject that seems to be the topic of conversation within the community lately - moving on from friends.

As Women, when we approach the latter half of our 20’s and enter into our 30’s we undergo this undeniable shift. The “old” just doesn’t make sense anymore but the “new” hasn’t exactly presented itself yet. We are hanging out in a space that can feel uncomfortable, at times painful, and overall just…unknown. During this time period we watch changes start to take place within our lives…

What we want in our dating life starts to change, what we want out of a career starts to change, how we see our life purpose starts to change…so why do we have such a tough time grappling with the idea that the type of friends we wish to keep around us changes as well?

Well…it could have something to do with our entire biology! Humans have an evolutionary need for belonging. Since the earliest Homo sapiens, people have lived as herd animals, reliant on their tribes to protect them from danger. It was quite literally life or death to not “fit in with the crowd”. 

…despite or society’s new-age push for being “unbothered” and “other people’s opinions of me don’t matter”, your primal brain has another agenda - and that is to keep you safely snuggled in with the herd. 

It’s completely normal that on one hand you know that as you grow and evolve, you would like people around you who match your newfound drive, dedication, open-heart, and wonder for life. And on the other hand…your primal brain is having an absolute freak out over the scary feelings that come with leaving the herd. 

The two sides of your mind are having a fight:

  1. You don’t want to feel like you think you’re better than anyone else because at a deeper level you understand we are all here just trying our best with the own unique individual journey
  1. …but you also long for more. Deep meaningful conversations, friends who are driven and want more out of life, a partner who doesn’t shy away from learning you beyond the surface level…

 

So what do we do with these two opposing feelings?

You are going to like this part - you simply do not have to try to do anything about it. Your only “job” if you will, is to continue to pour into yourself with the new ideals and desires that you are being called to.  

As you focus on keeping your vibration in an elevated place teeming with new ideas, emotions, etc. you can trust that who and what needs to come into your life will. And who or what no longer matches with that vibration will gracefully and effortlessly (yes - I promise effortlessly) be removed from your life experience.

So just decide…decide on who you want to be and what the new “Her” feels like, looks like, speaks like. 

And at the same time decide that no matter what pops up you will not get deterred from being “Her”. 

No matter what traffic is doing, no matter what emergency pops up at work, no matter how many times you hear “who does she think she is”…you have already decided that who you are becoming is more important than reacting to these things. 

It’s your job to not allow anyone or anything to “get you out of character” and the character is: “Her” - the woman you deserve to become.  

So trust that who and what needs to be put onto your path will effortlessly arise as you focus all of your energy on sculpting and creating the best version of yourself.

 

Have fun with this, imagine big, and breathe easy…it’s all happening FOR you & never TO you.

 

Xoxo,

 

Dani Lee, Owner/Founder D. LEE


10 comments


  • Ty

    Beautifully written. Such a great reminder!


  • Rae

    Crying because I feel like I was sent here for a reason today and that reason was to read this and gain from it. Thank you Dani. You inspire me so much everyday to be the best version of myself.


  • Karen

    Thank you for these words, I needed to read and remind myself of who I am aiming to become, continue growing into, flourish. No one can take that away <3


  • Karen

    Thank you for these words, I needed to read and remind myself of who I am aiming to become, continue growing into, flourish. No one can take that away <3


  • Erin

    “for you and not to you”—-there’s so much to take away from this, but those last words hit home. These posts are always spot on with whatever is happening in my world. Your words were so beautifully put together and extremely needed. xo


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