Letting Go: Deepest Fear Inventory

Hi My Friend,

I hope you, too, are finding solace in the changing season. The red, orange, and yellow leaves currently surrounding my home in Chicago leave me absolutely awestruck. They also serve as a reminder of the ever-present cycle of death and rebirth. Inevitably the cold winter is just around the corner.

At the age of 29, it seems that this idea of “death to be reborn” has finally caught up to me. I was fighting it for so long because, I guess a part of me did not want to fully admit that I simply could not have it all.

Sounds rather depressing, right? Well…I’ve found it’s not. Let me explain.

You have to decide what you want. You cannot have it all.

You cannot continue to entertain former versions of yourself if you truly wish to embody the Self you know you deserve to be. Stepping into a new reality means to boldly cut away all other realities that do not honor that new Self.

To deny ourselves the evolution into a higher embodiment of Self, a version that feels more authentic…more “us”, is to deny the natural cycle of death and rebirth. Just as a snake must shed its skin to become anew, we too must let go of what is dead.

Now…I won’t promise that the shedding process will be painless. Letting go of old patterns, beliefs, relationships, and careers can be painful, but not as painful as staying tethered to what is no longer working.

“The things you are settling for are taking up space that could be occupied by the things you actually want. Consider that.”

Life will constantly ask us to grow, stretch, and evolve into better versions of ourselves. And at the ripe age of 29, I’ve learned to just put my hands up…to allow life to refine me into continuous new versions of myself. Each cycle of death whittling away parts of me that are not really “me” and in turn birthing more and more authentic versions that I didn’t even realize I was aching to meet.

So you see, even though the death period can be painful…you can celebrate for the rebirth that is to come. As each rebirth contains more & more parts of “you”.

Sometimes we can know in our heart that we are ready for a rebirth, for a new chapter. But fear holds us back or self-sabotages our efforts to fully and boldly step into the “new”.

An incredibly helpful exercise that I incorporated into my daily Morning Ritual is the “Deepest Fear Inventory”, a process created by Dr. Carolyn Elliott. Through this practice one is able to dissolve old patterns and free stuck energy to create something new.

To do Deepest Fear Inventory, you take a sheet of paper (and yes, it has to be paper and not a computer document because you'll need to rip it up later)...

... at the top of the sheet of paper you write,

"Dear God [or Universe - however you like to address divinity],

I hate and resent _________ [fill in the blank with something you think you really want]....

... because I have deep fear that I _____________ [fill in the blank]
... because I have deep fear that I ______________
... because I have deep fear that I _______________

(write at least 20 deep fears, quick as you can)

At the bottom of the sheet of paper, write the following prayer:

"God, I ask that you remove these fears. I pray only for knowledge of your will for me and the power to carry it out. Amen."

Next, find a trusted person to read your Deepest Fear Inventory aloud to. The person should just hear your Deepest Fear Inventory and say "thank you for your honesty" with no further discussion.

Then, you rip up your Deepest Fear Inventory sheet and say to your listener, "Thank you for listening," then you throw away your little shreds of paper.

No holding onto an inventory "to remember what my fears are" or any nonsense like that -- tear it up! Throw it away! It's a banishing spell!

And if you're wondering - yes, the "reading aloud" part is very essential.

There's potent magic in being witnessed by another human consciousness as you acknowledge your fears and other emotional "stuff."

Here's an example Deepest Fear Inventory:

Dear God, I hate and resent receiving wealth easily and effortlessly [[something I think I want]]

... because I have deep fear that I find the need to hustle more exciting

... because I have deep fear that I don't deserve it

... because I have deep fear that wealth has something to do with deservingness

... because I have deep fear that my old friends will resent me and envy me the more easily I receive wealth

... because I have deep fear that my ego will be unimportant if I receive easily and effortlessly

... because I have deep fear that I get a sense of importance and superiority from my work ethic

... because I have deep fear that I will lose touch with a sense of immediacy and gratitude

... because I have deep fear that I will be complacent

.... (etc., up to 20)

Having incorporated this practice into my daily Morning Ritual for months now, I can confidently conclude that it works tremendous wonders in helping to identify where blockages exist. Once I am able to clearly see a fear on paper in black and white, it becomes much less scary and as a result loses its hold over me, which allows me to move toward what I DO really want.