Skip to content
How to get the Life you (Actually) Want

How to get the Life you (Actually) Want

The first step to getting the Life you (actually) want is...


Accepting the “is-ness” of all that is.


I’ve come to finally understand on a cellular level what all the great spiritual leaders have been saying all along…”in acceptance there is peace”…


AND for me, it has meant: “in acceptance there is the life you have actually been wanting”


We spend years of our lives (some of us actually all our life) wrestling with what we “don’t like”.


The “don’t like” situations can be overhead in coffee shops, seen on social media while scrolling, or talked about almost every time we catch up with our friends…


“There are no good men, I can’t afford the life I want, my boss sucks, my ex is such an asshole, if my family was different my life would be easier, going to the gym consistently is so hard…” - you get the picture.


If you take a step back and look at it, you can see that we are unconsciously allowing ourselves to (almost consistently) spiral down a hole of "don't like" energy.


I want to invite you into a practice that will allow you to turn those "don't like" situations into situations you actually really really like...


By saying "fuck it".


What if you just said this is exactly my life. This is exactly how my life looks right now. I’m going to stop wrestling with my physical reality. I'm going to stop trying to control all those "don't like" situations. I’m going to fully embrace the “mistakes” I’ve made. I’m going to sit in all these uncomfortable feelings. I’m going to let myself love all of this. I’m going to make an effort every day to feel the absolute best I can about this situation of mine.


Some people are afraid that if they “give in” and fully accept where they are they will be stuck there. In the misery, in the brokenness, in the loneliness…but I assure you: when we stop resisting, the magic can start happening. 


Remember: what we resist, persists.


So allow yourself to absolutely bask in the situation of where you currently are. Do this tuning into those feelings of full-blown surrender and acceptance, a source higher (your subconscious mind, God, the Universe…whatever you prefer) is able to finally help you. are able to get out of your own way. 


Through this practice, you begin to understand that the inside creates the outside - that none of this was “done” to you, and actually you had the divine hand in creating it - so let yourself celebrate YOU for that. Wonderful job and well done.


Now you have the power to make a change.


Once you are able to fully and wholly celebrate and enjoy where you are, a strange thing starts to occur - where you are starts to improve.


Now don’t cheat the process though, you can’t “love” where you are in secret hopes that it will get you to where you want to be…


You can’t do this because we live in a frequency based universe. You will always get back the energy you put out, so make sure it's real!


If you feel grateful - you will attract more situations to feel grateful for.

If you feel prosperous - you will attract more prosperity.

If you feel full of love - you will attract love.


It’s pretty simple really. The only thing that gets in our way is our beliefs, which are mostly all passed down from our lineage. If you take a look at your family, you will oftentimes see that the same attitudes and beliefs that hold them back - are currently holding you back.


So it becomes a simple matter of 1) accepting the truth in that, which then allows you to 2) choose new beliefs.


Please notice, I said simple - not easy.


It does certainly take effort and discipline to change our belief system.


Here are my practical tips for creating new beliefs: 

1) Fully and wholly accept where you currently are. Bask in the awesomeness of what you have created. 

2) Celebrate yourself for 40 Days straight. Celebrate yourself for absolutely no apparent reason. When you wake up, look in the mirror and say “I celebrate you”. Affirm this celebration of yourself throughout the day in your mind. This process tells your subconscious that you are worth being celebrated and it will bring things into your life worth celebrating. Mark the start and end date on your calendar.

3) Take time to fully define your “Havingness Levels”. Most of us our experts at what we “Don’t Like” but have never actually taken the time to define what it is we DO like.

I have a Notes page on my phone with the following categories “Career, Relationship, Friendships, Home, Body, Miscellaneous”. I took the time to dream up what I want in each of these categories, and I regularly add new notes to them as thoughts come to me or I see inspiration.

Hint: this is an AMAZING way to avoid being jealous - see something you want that would usually make you jealous because you don’t have it? Bypass the jealously altogether by adding it to your “Havingness Levels” Note page. Now look at you, you’re smiling over that girl who just received a huge bouquet of white roses instead of saying “ugh it’ll never be me”.

4) Try a new activity (or become consistent with an activity) that would fully affirm to your subconscious mind that you have fully embraced and live in your new belief.

For example: if you would like to adopt the belief that you are a really happy & healthy person: join Pilates. Pay the monthly membership, and take yourself there 3x a week and while you are in your class, affirm to yourself “look at me, I am such a happy & healthy person”.

Another example: if you would like to adopt the belief that an incredible relationship is on the way: start dressing better. When you look good, you feel good. And when you feel good you attract good. When you run errands with messy hair, last night’s eyeliner, and baggy sweats - how likely are you to talk to anyone or give off the energy that you would like anyone to talk to you? Versus - running errands in a cute matching yoga set with your clean hair pulled back and a spritz of your favorite perfume. You’re probably more ready to be social in the latter, right?

5) Meditate. Schedule it in your calendar right now. At least 15 minutes a day. There is no better way to get out of the habit of your current limiting beliefs than to regularly quiet them and allow your brain to just “be”.


You have the power to create whatever life you want.

Is it easy? Nope.

But it is simple.

Make a plan & work the plan.

Just start - it doesn’t have to be perfect.

You will find your way.


Cheers to using the month of December for getting the wheels turning for a wonderful 2023!

Dani Lee, Owner/Founder D. LEE

8 Replies on How to get the Life you (Actually) Want

  • Danasia Danasia

    Well said Dani! This is the perfect message to jumpstart a new year!!! Much love sent your way!

  • Aubrey Aubrey

    Her words always speak so true to my journey and she’s constantly evolving being the realist along the way!

  • Tracey Underwood Tracey Underwood

    I don’t believe there are coincidences in life but divine appointments! I thank God for allowing me to be in this place and appoint me to find your blog! I so needed this at this moment in my life! It has spoken to me on so many levels and I am applying all you’ve said to my right now and future goals!

  • Meggyn Meggyn

    My favorite one yet. 🤍

  • Lee Michelle Lee Michelle

    I look forward to these blogs as I feel sometimes they were made just for me. I appreciate all the practices, advice and key components in your blogs. Dani you are so appreciated for not only making us feel sexy in staple pieces but also speaking to those of us who need an extra push or insight on so many levels. I’ve followed you since you were in school and I am so proud of where you are today. Thank you for being you!

Leave a reply

Your email address will not be published..

Quick Shop